“Yes, sir. George Taylor.”

“Well, George, I was looking over your application and everything seems to be in order. You do know what position you’re applying for, don’t you?”

“Uh, your personnel director wasn’t quite clear on that.”

“It’s Medical Experimentation Subject, First Class. A very unique position. Of course, there is a down side.”

“Oh?”

“Don’t worry. My surgeons assure me that the operation is mostly painless.”

“Operation?”

“Uh… Yes. Let me explain. Here at the Dr. Zaius Institute we’re working on the next step of human evolution. If hired, we will scoop out your brain and replace it with the brain of a monkey.”

“A… A… A monkey?”

“Uh, uh. According to the latest Fox News poll, 85 percent of their viewers want their brains replaced by monkey brains. It’s really quite hi-tech.”

“85 percent?”

“That’s right. Of course, there is compensation. In return for letting us stick a monkey’s brain inside your head, we’re prepared to offer you concert tickets for any show you want.”

“Concert tickets? You mean, If I want to see Scorpions or P.J. Harvey -“

“We’ll buy the tickets for you.”

“What about Newsboys, Harry Connick Jr., and The Black Keys?”

“Just say the word. We have a trade-out with Clear Channel. You might even say they have a special interest in putting monkey brains in concert goers.”

“Hmmm… I don’t know. I rather like my brain.”

“But you’ll love your new monkey brain even more. Plus, you’ll have tickets for all the big shows coming to town, like Van Halen and Barry Manilow.”

“But what about the seats?”

“Front row, center. However, we suspect that once we stick a monkey’s brain in your noggin, you’ll probably prefer to hang from the lighting truss.”

“I’ll have to think about that, sir.”

“Think away, George. And while you’re thinking about it, imagine yourself rocking out with Metallica or Slayer while eating bananas, picking lice from your fur and scratching wherever it itches.”

“Hmmm…”

“Well, what do you say, George? Do you want to be our new Medical Experimentation Subject, First Class?”

“I’m not sure. Let me see if I got this straight. You’re going to swap out my brain with that of a monkey, and give me concert tickets for all the hot shows, like Usher and Prince, as payment for services rendered.”

“Don’t forget Patti Smith, Madonna and John Mayer. So, George, what’s your answer?”

“I dunno. That depends.”

“Oh? Depends on what?”

“Er… What was that you said about a down side?”